and this might be the closest anyone has gotten to drawing me.

and still i didnt draw me fat.

the most exhausting part of the job is the faking of my "on" persona

the happy go lucky all is great but overall in the universe its bull.

ive worked ten hour shifts in different stores

and yet ive felt so much more drained after working four hours at this one after a *five hour stint.

*they purposely fuckme out of hours

and then theres this guy

okay, theres this guy that came in and was all like "end of the day mode", he had thetop button unbuttoned, the tie loosened, shirt half un-tucked, the works.

and he swaggers up and says the lamest thing a person could say.

well two,

first he called me "guy" which i hate,

and second,

"latte me..."

what the hell is that?

latte me.

and yes, as he said that, he did throw the horns.

douche.

(and ive tried making these comics web friendly, however there are limits to the size allowed by blogger and unless i want to move it to a web comic server, which i dont really want to yet, it will have to stay the way it is for the time being, i hope that its cool with everyone.)

one of the perks of my job.

the other day i got a rare treat.

this woman came in with a screaming, snot dripping, whiny child in tow.

the treat?

at one point, years and years, pounds and pounds, and before that cute freckle turned into a nasty, hairy mole, i had dated her.

and she had cheated on me, and eventually left.

and i realized in that moment that i had dodged a massive bullet.

the only downside was that i had to take her order.

another in the life as a coffee wage slave, single panel as i think that is all that is needed in this case.

i really dont think that she was happy with this discovery, what can i say, we had had a run on scones, and by nine we were out.

i just got real quiet and shrugged and offered her a muffin on the house.

and suddenly she was my friend.

sometimes i really hate people.

this one started about a week or so into working there, women come in and pay for their orders and hand me money or cards with bits of paper or post its attached.

and on these bits of paper are phone numbers and then from the customer... a wink.

and there is no easy out on this one, you cant really pretend you didnt notice, and there is no way in hell youre going to follow up.

so i smile lamely and say, thank you, your drink will be up in a few minutes


the discovery is that older women seem to have the sex drives of a thirteen year old boy.

the perfect cosmo match

yep...

this actually happened, no exaggeration.

sometimes i think that im too retarded to live.

....

and this doesn't include the people that i went to high school with another added bonus to working at/for a utility.